If… A very small word isn’t it? But to the parents and siblings and family and friends of someone who has died, the word If becomes a huge word with so many connotations.
‘If only I hadn’t…If I didn’t…If it wasn’t…If she…If he……’
We can all play the ‘If’ game and we can apply it to so many bereavements and sad events in our lives, but no matter how many ifs or buts we find, it seldom has a positive outcome
When the bereavement we suffer occurs due to a violent or catastrophic event, the ifs become even more poignant. For the parents of the children callously killed during the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting , the ‘If’ game is particularly cruel and unforgiving.
They say that there are Five Stages of Grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, acceptance. Having lost a brother in violent circumstances some thirty-five years ago, I can agree that in my case, these stages do roughly equate to my own, personal experience of the grief process. But nobody ever tells you how long these stages are supposed to be. And there’s a very good reason for that… No One Knows! Grief is a very personal experience. And No One has the right to tell you how to grieve or that you have grieved for too long.
For good or for ill there are people out there who make the whole process all the more difficult. Denial as a grief stage is the tiny window of time when your brain is telling you that this can’t be happening. When we wake in the morning, there is often that short burst of mere seconds when our brains tell us it was all a bad dream.
But there is a growing group of people who call themselves ‘ Truthers’ who like to deny that tragedies like Sandy Hook , the Paris Attacks of 2015 and the more recent Terrorist events in London and Manchester ever happened. These unpleasant individuals usually pin the motivation of these so called ‘ Staged Events’ onto political maneuvers. Most popularly, the Second Amendment Right to bear arms.
All of the above are major incidents with an immense amount of proof that they did indeed occur; all of it out in the WWW for the whole world to see. However, I have to beg the question WHY? Why on earth would these people think of linking the deaths of Beautiful news anchor Alison Parker and her colleague Adam Ward to the preservation of the second amendment? Simply because the lunatic that killed them, while all the time filming it on his GoPro, used a gun!
Unless it can also be linked to some sort of right of citizens to use camera equipment while they perpetrate these acts? It’s insane! And whilst we’re at it, how awful must it be to turn on your computer and find images and video clips of your own child’s death? Add to that the images and video clips of people making disparaging remarks and accusations; picking on any slight difference or camera angle in an attempt to disprove and disparage the authenticity of the first. Terrible! I’d like to know who dragged up these children that they grow into such despicable human beings.
The net effect on the families of the victims who know their loved one has died tragically is that their grief process is interrupted. Prolonged, and in some cases put on hold completely whilst their families fight to prove their loss. In some cases, the fight to prove their loved ones even existed in the first place. Unthinkable. I can understand the anger of these loved ones. Another part of the grieving process that is amplified and prolonged.
To bargain with God, ‘ Please, take me instead!’ If only I could take my loved one’s place. A sadly futile phase, yet apparently crucial to the process as a whole. Depression ; a state which is often misdiagnosed and misunderstood. The ‘Deep, dark hole’ we find ourselves teetering on the brink of. The pit of despair we find ourselves staring into, especially when we lose someone we love.
Many of us have battled with it. And it is something that should never be tackled alone. If you are reading this and you feel you might need help then please talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a medical professional. Please, don’t suffer in silence.
Yes, eventually acceptance comes around. I lost my brother when I was young but because I was told to be brave for my parents, I was found to be suffering from ‘ Delayed Grief ’ in my mid-twenties.
I couldn’t leave the house on or around the anniversary, I even lost a job for refusing to work it. I was in my early thirties by the time I reached acceptance.
On the anniversary now, I raise a solitary toast to my brother and tell him all about the life I am leading for the two of us. Acceptance can mean different things to different people and have some sort of ritual to remember your loved one can be very helpful indeed.
Because we will never forget… And passing on our memories and photographs to family members of future generations means that they will never forget either. That’s immortality right there. We’ll Never Forget You xx
If his defense is true, Leonard Pozner believes Jones’ decades-long performance has destroyed too many lives—including his own.
“I wish I could be there in the courtroom to stare him down to remind him of how he’s throwing salt on a wound, and so he can remember how he handed out salt for other people to throw on mine,” said Pozner.
Pozner’s 6-year-old son, Noah, was one of 20 children killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012. Six staff members also died in the shooting. Since then, he and his family have been the target of a conspiracy theory, fueled most prominently by Jones and InfoWars, that the shooting never really happened, and that the 20 dead children were actually “crisis actors” planted by the United States government in a false flag operation to drum up support for stricter gun control laws.
Since the massacre in 2012, Jones’ site repeatedly ran stories with headlines like “Mystery: Sandy Hook Victim Dies (Again) In Pakistan” and “College Professor Says ‘Crisis Actors’ May Have Played Part If Sandy Hook Was Indeed a Hoax.”
In November, Jones released a “final statement” on Sandy Hook, where Jones said, “All I know is the official story of Sandy Hook has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.”
Jones’ name trended on Twitter in the United States on Monday, but he didn’t reference the ongoing trial on InfoWars’ livestream that afternoon.
But in Jones’ pretrial hearing, his lawyer argued that judging Jones based on his InfoWars persona “would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in ‘Batman.’”
The effects of the stories, even if rooted in fiction—as Jones’ lawyers will try to convince a jury this week—have real and devastating consequences. Pozner has been inundated with threats and harassment from conspiracy theorists insistent that his son was never alive to begin with. Last year, a Florida Atlantic University professor sent the couple a certified letter demanding proof that Noah ever existed. (The professor, James Tracy, was subsequently fired.)
Pozner said he’s talked to guests on InfoWars’ radio show who confessed that Jones is playing a part, but that he’d “never seen (an admission) this overt” that Jones was playing a part stated by one of his representatives.
“I’ve heard it said before Jones is playing a character. ‘That’s showbusiness,’ one of his guests told me,” said Pozner. “That’s why he makes millions of dollars spinning conspiracy theories and sensationalizing mass casualty events and geopolitical crises.”
Jones is seeking to retain full custody of his children in a divorce case that will take place in Austin, where Jones lives and where InfoWars is headquartered, over the next two weeks. Jones’ ex-wife, Kelly Jones, says the InfoWars creator is “not a stable person” and is seeking custody of their 9-year-old and 12-year-old daughters. According to the American-Statesman, Kelly Jones says Alex “broadcasts from home” and “the children are there, watching him broadcast.”
Read the full story here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/04/17/sandy-hook-dad-on-performance-artist-alex-jones-s-t...
It has become apparent that mass public shootings are becoming more and more common in American society. We can no longer go about our daily lives with the belief that we are safe while out in public. Those innocent victims in the Omaha shooting entered that mall with no concerns for their safety because malls are supposed to be safe. In American society we have always had the understanding that public places are rarely the scene of violent crimes. A criminal would much rather find a potential victim who is not in a crowded public place because the odds of getting caught are high much higher.
The problem is that with these mass public shootings we are not dealing with a typical criminal who wants to commit his/her crime and then get away. The person planning the mass public shooting has no intentions of getting away because he/she fully intends to commit suicide or be killed by the Police. The mass shooter chooses a public place because it is full of innocent and usually unarmed civilians who are easy victims. The mass shooter wants to kill as many people as quickly as he can which is why the crowded public places are chosen.
It does us no good to try and understand why these people decide to murder innocent people before killing themselves or being killed by the Police. The human mind is complex and not fully understood and we may never know what triggers a person to commit mass murder. The important thing is for civilians to understand that the mass public shooting rampage is a real threat and steps need to be taken to protect themselves and their loved ones.
Here are ideas by Lenny Pozner (who lost his little son Noah Pozner at the mass shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School) on keeping yourself safer while in public places:
1. Obtain a concealed firearms permit
Seriously look into obtaining a concealed firearms permit if your state allows it. More and more criminals are carrying concealed firearms so it only makes sense for you to carry one. Having a concealed firearm permit is a huge responsibility and it is not meant for everyone. Each state has their own rules for who can apply for a concealed firearms permit and the rules are meant to weed out those individuals who have no business carrying concealed firearms. You know yourself better than anyone and if you don't think you are responsible enough to carry a concealed firearm, then don't.
2. Purchase a firearm that is right for you
Find a local shooting range or shooting club and talk with someone who is an expert in the field of firearms. Tell this person that you are interested in obtaining information on handgun models for concealed carrying. This is an important step because if you intend on carrying a gun concealed in your waist band you don't want to buy a big bulky gun. Women have it made because they have a lot of options on what type of gun to buy because they can carry the gun in their purse. Men have to conceal a handgun in their waist band, pants pocket, ankle holster, or carry a fanny pack.
3. Become proficient with your firearm
Don't even consider being a candidate for a concealed firearms permit if you don't have the time or desire to go to the shooting range. If you can't hit the targets at the shooting range, how can you engage an armed homicidal subject in a crowded public place. When it comes to becoming proficient with a handgun you have to practice, practice, practice, and then practice some more. You don't have to become an expert marksman but you need to be proficient with your handgun. Think of your handgun as a tool that you have to aide you in staying safe and you need to know how to operate your tool
4. Think like an off-duty cop while in public places
Constantly scan your surroundings for signs of danger or suspicious activity. This comes naturally for Police Officers because our job is all about watching and observing people and our surroundings. Look for a person or persons who are acting out of the norm for a law-abiding civilian who is in a public place. A person wearing heavy clothing during warm months or someone looking around frantically can be suspicious. When you start watching people in public you will see that 99.9% of the people go about their business in the same fashion. Scan the area the furthest away from you for signs of distress or danger such as people running, yelling, or a crowd gathering. Think of yourself as a walking human surveillance camera. You are walking around the public place and the whole time you are scanning and analyzing the people around you. Do it long enough and it will become 2nd nature as it is with Police Officers.
5. Know the layout of the public place that you are visiting
If you know the layout of the public place that you are visiting you will be better prepared to escape in the event of a life-threatening situation. Know the exit/entrance ways so you wont have to think about an escape route during a dangerous situation. During a life-threatening situation in a public place, avoid using the main exits because those areas could very well be a trap. Someone intent on murder would choose the most crowded areas of a public place which are typically the main entrance points.
6. Have a plan in case you find yourself in the middle of a public shooting
Spending time on a tactical team taught me the importance of having a plan. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Have a general plan in your head that you will implement if you find yourself in one of these dangerous situations. A plan could be something like this.
1. Find cover and concealment
2. Call 911 if possible
3. Retreat from source of danger when safe (don't run blindly)
4. Have handgun ready (if you have a concealed firearms permit) and be prepared to act!
Our society is seeing more and more of these mass public shootings and there is no reason to believe that we have seen the last shooting rampage. The least you can do to increase your odds of staying safe is to be cognizant and aware that one of these mass public shootings can happen in any of the public places you frequent. If you choose to explore the possibility of obtaining a concealed firearms permit, contact your local law enforcement headquarters for more information.
If these things can be measured, Sandy Hook – with 20 first-graders among the 26 dead – exuded a unique horror. It was seen as a wake-up call, maybe even a tipping point in America’s debate over assault rifles.
They are weapons of mass carnage that are designed for the battle field... They should be made illegal - Veronique Pozner, interviewed by Foreign Correspondent just weeks after Noah died at Sandy Hook elementary school
But what followed Sandy Hook was more Congressional inertia. Then came San Bernardino (14 dead) and now Orlando (49 dead).
It was just that feeling of "here we go again" - Veronique Pozner, June 2016
In the aftermath of the Orlando nightclub killings Foreign Correspondent’s Lisa Millar catches up again with Veronique Pozner. Despite a lack of progress on gun reform she is surprisingly upbeat, likening the campaign to the long haul of the civil rights movement.
We woke up as a nation to the injustices. So this is our next fight - the violence in society is our next fight – Veronique Pozner
Her resolve is all the more extraordinary in the face of a vicious trolling campaign by conspiracists or “gun truthers” who claim that Sandy Hook never happened, that the family are all government-sponsored actors – and that Noah never died.
Noah’s dad Lenny Pozner devotes himself to repelling the online assault.
I have to absolutely defend the memory of my son; I have no choice – Lenny Pozner
The Pozners are now part of a landmark case which they hope will radically reframe gun laws, stripping legal immunity from gun makers and sellers when guns are used in a crime.
Drug manufacturers and tobacco manufacturers do not enjoy that (immunity). There are consequences and it’s about time people brought that to the forefront – Veronique Pozner
Also read: Donate to HONR Network Legal Fund created by Lenny Pozner
Sandy Hook is one of the school shootings with multiple victims in American history. Yet there are thousands of people who believe that the massacre never happened, that Noah Pozner never existed, that his parents, like those of other children, are actors paid by the US government and the CIA to push for legislation to regulate the 'use of weapons. Simply a Google search to see the slaughter of Newtown has over the years become one of the favorite targets of the conspiracy. "It was an extreme story, unaccountable, therefore lends itself to manipulation," says the BBC Lenny Pozner , the father of Noah, with the lucidity of a scholar. Before losing twice his son - the first, at the school in Sandy Hook, the second in the memory of those who believe that it has ever experienced - was of the conspiracy theories fan: "I watched the videos on YouTube with the same spirit in which people read the Da Vinci Code, using the imagination. I understand the attraction of wanting to be a citizen detective, but everything was still in my head, confined to the imagination. Never could I attack others. "That's what happened to him and his (ex) wife Veronique, who just a few weeks after the death of Noah began to receive threats from truther - this is the technical term for those who think they know the truth of the tragic events of History- who accuse them of being "traitors, people disgusting, sold" (a term that Lenny hates, prefers hoaxer : buffalo creators). There are many, often unexpected. A professor at Florida Atlantic University, James Tracy, was disbarred after asking Lenny Pozner proof that his son really had. Last week a woman of 57 years Florida has been sentenced for having written four messages, all with the same content: "You will die. Death will come to you, this time really."
Accusations and threats are everyday life for man, a former computer programmer originally from Brooklyn, he had chosen to offer its Newtown school children and quality of life best: "I get at least two a day on my Google page," he says.
He often moved house in the last four years, leaving the mailbox in a safe place. In 2014 he founded a group, "Conspiracy Theorists Anonymous," to remove the buffaloes on the web, writing and speaking in public to Sandy Hook. A year later, he joined the counter-attack: "The wall is too high. Those people live in a bubble; they want to believe in their truth. This forces us to one action: fight back. It's the Wild West. "Pozner writes, responds, complaint. Sometimes using shame as a weapon, "I republish their content, with name and surname. Someone gets angry a lot, others become victims. A few are reported. But the shame is the last option; our main focus is to reduce the content of false information on the internet."
Read the full article here: http://www.corriere.it/cronache/16_dicembre_16/padre-lotta-contro-negazionisti-alla-sandy-hook-morto...
